Awakening to the Presence of Love
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
— Rumi
I have always been utterly fascinated by love. For many years I yearned to taste her delicious nectar and to share it unabashedly. I earnestly searched for her in relationships, substances, and states of mind. So often I tasted her presence but what I really wanted was lasting companionship — to be eternally satiated in her sensual warmth. You know, I wanted the kind of experience that would relieve me of the growing discomfort within myself and within the world. I wanted to abide in the refuge of her bosom, endlessly.
After many delicious but transient encounters, I was left bewildered by her elusive nature. To my dismay, she always seemed to come and go. Like many of us, I found some temporary relief in my outward seeking, and I mistakenly believed that the love, happiness, and peace I felt was coming from those experiences. So I was on a never-ending seeking journey wanting more and more relief. I took to familiar patterns in which I tried to control and manipulate myself and the world so I didn’t have to face the many fears and insecurities that lived within me.
After years of searching and study though, it has become abundantly clear that the movement of love (please note: many folks use the term happiness synonymously here) cannot, in fact, be acquired from objective experiences. She doesn’t come to us through the approval of others, or through special relationships, pleasant feelings, the acquisition of objects, or even through spiritual practices. Contrary to everything most of us believe, she consistently arises from within the depths of our very own hearts. We are entirely inseparable from her closeness and tenderness.
So when we turn away from ourselves, we are turning away from what we most desire — the unconditional compassion and grace that lives within us. When we betray ourselves through self-abandonment tactics, we block ourselves from receiving and offering that which we want the most.
Yet, when we learn to move towards her like a great lover would — trusting, open, willing, and ruthlessly sincere — we find ourselves softening and relaxing into all aspects of our being. The veil eventually drops and we know the everlasting peace that comes from the knowledge that we are already open and whole. The peace, love, and joy we yearn for is already here.
This movement of love pervades all of existence and she is calling all of humanity to expand and evolve.
Her sound is soft and she moves in gentle whispers, but when we truly listen her messages are utterly clear. She is offering us a profound invitation to step into an entirely new way of being — a way of being that is aligned with our deepest potentials and capacities.
It’s really no surprise — humanity will certainly need to become increasingly and fiercely loving, intelligent, and creative in order to repair and unite our chaotic and violently divided world. When we say yes to the invitation, we wake up to her aliveness as it lives within us and we are liberated and empowered to collectively align with her presence and honor our evolutionary potential.
It is at this moment in time that we are presented with the opportunity to step up as awakening leaders — the kind of leaders who move from the deep heart with courage, vulnerability, and compassion.
We are invited to turn towards her by responding to the pulsating urge to bow down and give ourselves over to all of life. And maybe for a moment, we can drop deeply into our bodies — where the nectar of her presence resides — and surrender, allowing any unnecessary internal defenses and protection mechanisms within our hearts and minds to melt away.
The Choice
Essentially, she is offering us a choice: we can evolve or devolve. We can open to her presence and guidance or we can continue to withhold our love. We can embrace all aspects of ourselves or we can reject ourselves. Let’s be clear, though: if we choose anything but the path of love, we close ourselves off from the tenderness of our own hearts — from our very own potential to know incredible intimacy and to falling deeply, madly in love with ourselves, others, and the world.
I spent the majority of my adult years experiencing the painful, unnecessary suffering that accompanies the withholding of love, and it was in this way that I closed myself off to what the great mythologist Joseph Campbell described as the rapture of being alive.
Yet when I allow the movement of love to move as me, I feel the surge of pure aliveness well up in my being — and with it a deep sense of wellness, wholeness, and connectedness.
Sure, we can choose to remain in the downward spiral of the old paradigm where we remain disconnected from, and in competition with, each other. It is in this way of being that we strive endlessly to prove our worth, consistently choosing to control rather than learn, choosing to withhold our love, choosing domination systems over partnership culture.
Yes, we can choose that if we want to, and it’s tempting to stay with the withholding of love. I mean without withholding, we end the arguments, we go without unnecessary suffering, and we go without grievances (ah, I know this all too well — it’s just so hard to let go of the endless grievances we hold). Interestingly enough, there might be parts of us that actually enjoy holding these grievances. The illusion of control prevents us from feeling our deepest insecurities. It’s comforting and familiar, and we do have a choice to stay here. And it’s okay if we do.
But when our suffering is painful enough, when we become finally tired enough of holding the weight of all these grievances, when we recognize that our habits and patterns are not encouraging the kind of life we want to live, when we are entirely sick of living with the symptoms of a closed heart, we can open to another way.
In the new paradigm, our very own hearts are calling us to awaken to our truest essence. We are called to awaken to our innermost so we cease to be asleep, disconnected from — and at war with — ourselves, others, and the world. So we can come together in wholeness, in joy, in connectedness.
But her calling isn’t only about the bliss of knowing our unbounded and infinite true nature. This is also about awakening to the ways in which we abandon ourselves, each other, and our world. This is about welcoming the depths of our humanity — all the blessings we find there and all the grief, too.
In this new way of being, we are urged to move with integrity moment-to-moment — holding consistent states of fresh vision as we look upon reality. This is about recognizing her wisdom as it lives within our bodies and integrating this wisdom into our day-to-day lives. This is about choosing to listen and respond so we may grow and evolve, so we may step into our relationships with integrity and care. So we may discover, unearth, and share our most potent gifts with the world.
A Different Kind of Love
This kind of love is not reserved for special, romantic relationships. This love is the one that gives rise to and pervades all of existence. This love doesn’t want us to push away our grief and loss, she wants us to find her inside of it. She beckons us to meet our darkest fears, our penetrating desires, our deepest heartbreaks, our forgotten pleasures, and our agonizing frustrations. She asks to look at our power, brilliance, and talent so we may fully reveal and share ourselves.
This kind of love grants us permission to be seen and to see and value others. This is a soft and fierce love that claims to be neither superior or inferior, neither right or wrong, neither good or bad. She moves with intelligence, grace, humility, and pure, unadulterated throbbing compassion.
Oh! And this love lives within the world of the wild unknown — and moving within this kind of uncertainty, we are called to release control, move alongside our fear, and surrender to what wants to move through us. It’s important to note that unimaginable wisdom, creativity, and authenticity also live in the world of the wild unknown.
She empowers us to hold ourselves with the deepest form of self-love imaginable as we sometimes willingly— and other times reluctantly — open to what is really here. She urges us to take full responsibility for our feelings and to release blame. But don’t be fooled — this is not the kind of love in which we passively surrender or collapse. Rather, we stand firmly grounded in all aspects of wholeness; we stand tall and steadfast in our utter nakedness and vulnerability.
Embodying her Wisdom
Awakening to our deepest essence can happen instantly, but the embodying of this awakening is a lengthy, nuanced process of integration that takes patience and commitment. It is messy and challenging to face what we most don’t want to look at. To take a close look at our shadows and bring them to the light takes courage, honesty, and devotion to truth. And, equally important, we must be willing to respond to our insights with daring action.
The nectar of her warm embrace often resides where we most don’t want to look: into the heart of our deepest, darkest most painful suffering and pain — into the devastating grief we carry. But with courage, we can slowly allow her to have her way with us — and when we do, our avoidance and denial techniques are brought to light and we start to recognize her messages, not as the appearance of suffering, but as a guiding light here to assist us in our evolutionary potential.
We welcome her by welcoming all aspects of ourselves — the brightest parts and the darkest parts — to be known, seen, and loved home. We release shame and align our movement with the knowledge that the grief and the blessing are one. We no longer need to shy away from either.
When we find the courage to respond with pure openness and we say yes to the unseen mystical mysteries below the surface, all of the forgotten or denied aspects of ourselves — perhaps even our rage, eroticism, and creative impulses — can then come rushing to the surface to be integrated back into wholeness. We learn that there are no bad parts to us, no parts that aren’t entirely deserving of love, no parts that can’t find healthy forms of expression.
We don’t need to travel to far-away lands to feel the gift of this transformation — this awakening can happen right here in the midst of our lives— right in the heart of the journey of motherhood, or fatherhood, or the busy-ness of modern life. When we open to it, these evolutionary impulses flow through us with reckless abandon.
As we give ourselves over and allow ourselves to be dissolved into her totality, our whole being becomes informed by this movement and we engage in a radical revolution of the heart as we take more and more steps on behalf of the eternal and abundant source of love that lives in our core.
We develop the capacity to walk with integrity, care, and authenticity. We become equally humbled and empowered. We may even find ourselves falling deeply, madly in love with our very own heart, our very own existence. As we align and stay with her grace, the inner war gradually comes to an end — there is no longer a war with others, a war with the world.
The Movement of Love in Action
I am incredibly fortunate to witness so many beautiful creatures as they choose the path of love — they are discovering, learning, integrating, growing, evolving, and revealing.
I see them laying their defenses and grievances at the altar of the Heart. They are releasing the need to be right and choosing to learn rather than control. They are healing old wounds and revealing the wholeness at their core. They are recognizing and releasing outdated patterns.
I see them in relationship — listening and responding without judgement, condemnation, or hate. I see them building community and offering their gifts in service to the greater good. I see them standing tall in their truth by setting healthy boundaries. I see them coming out of hiding by sharing their vulnerable hearts, their joy, their grief, and their fears — all in the sacredness of mutuality and compassionate communication. They may make mistakes, but they take responsibility and know how to resolve conflict peacefully.
I see them leaning into their discomfort and developing the willingness to meet their experience exactly as it is. They are owning their strengths and their shadows, taking responsibility for their feelings and lives rather than succumbing to the outdated tactics of blaming and shaming others.
I see them devoting themselves to the present moment in front of them, and adding a healing salve to our collective wounds. They are waking up to the domination systems that we live under and taking corrective action to repair these collective wounds. They are developing systems that are based in collaboration so our children may inherit a partnership-based world. I see them directly addressing the vast array of collective issues as they are evidenced all around us: widespread isolation, addiction, dis-ease, systemic injustice, and an urgent climate crisis.
I see them living connected, balanced, fulfilled, and joyful lives. And I see them sharing their gifts in a potent and vulnerable way. I see folks leaning in and giving a whole-hearted yes to this evolutionary impulse. They consistently show up to the table, and move with humbleness, grace, ease. These awakening souls carry forgiveness and patience for they know that this is a lifelong process of integration and our wounds aren’t the problem, they are the way.
Evolving in Relationship
The movement of love wants to move together in love. This is a communal process by which we evolve in and through relationship — by knowing and sharing in the delightful presence of love, together.
I have an ignited vision of many more beings awakening to the presence of love and allowing their unique gifts to pour forth into the world. And may it be so, so our children can one day inhabit a connected, partnership-based world filled with integrity and care. I have a vision of humanity delivering a full-hearted yes to the invitation — where we co-create together to birth a new world into existence — one in which we all thrive with much exuberance, vitality, curiosity, and spontaneity.
Each of us are being called to step forward at this time — by letting love live as us. If we are feeling called to move with the wind of love, we can commit to taking daring action in response to her summoning. We can identify the ways in which we choose patterns that keep us from living our potential — the patterns that prevent us from tapping into her guidance and aligning our lives with our deepest vision and values. We can take a sincere look at the ways in which we choose to withhold love by resisting what is.
We can slow down, get still, sit with our discomfort, ask for guidance, listen, and respond. We can listen and respond to the guidance of the deep heart, and hold ourselves with the deepest compassion as we make mistakes and learn and grow.
May we find a hand in the midst of the darkness — someone whose archetypal presence is alive with wonder and truth. If you can recognize this kind of aliveness within another, then you can recognize it within yourself.
You can open to the opportunity to move in each area of your life in a way that is aligned with your deepest knowing, your deepest fire, your deepest love. And as she vibrates within your heart, may you fall into a sense of everlasting trust as you abide in her eternal warm embrace — a source of lasting comfort and a place of true refuge.
May you sense her throbbing presence in your heart and belly and fully open to her presence so we may all, together, transform into highly sensual, intelligent, and kind creatures alive with vitality — ones that are fully capable of receiving and sharing the eternal gift of love — together.
